I'am gone now but I'm still very near. Death can never separate us.
Each time you feel a gentle breeze it's my hand caressing your face. each time the wind blows it carries my voice whispering your name.
When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place. When you feel a few raindrops fall on you face it's me placing soft kisses.
At night look up in th sky and see the stars shining so brightly I'm one of those stars and I'm winking at you and smiling with delight. For never forget you're the apple of my eys.
by Nary M /Green
35 Months today / Jean (Mom)
My precious son left from this earth to heaven with God. Its been 35 months but he is with God. This I beleave Bible say so.
I miss you John.... I love you forever.
His soul has lifted and is free at last. There is no more suffering no pain he must grasp.
Quite Simple / Jean (Mom)
It really is quite simple I miss you more each day my heart still aches each morning....although I seem okay.
I hide my tears inside me no longer do I share sorrow that is endless pain I always bear.
Most people have forgotten or never speak a word they think that I am much better....but that is quite absurd.
I never will be over...get better or be fine I'll always miss your presence my life was redefined.
I'll wish for you forever my love remains the same. Days have turn to years now I've learned to live with pain.
No one will ever notice my mask is firmly set I may not show my sorrow... but I surely won't forget.
When I remember John / Jean (Mom)
Today is 34 month since you left to heaven. Months or years may have passed yet I feel near to him. My hearts yearn for him. Though the bitter grief has softened a duller pain abides for the place where once he stood is empty now forever. The links of life is broken. But the links of love and longing cannot break. I see him now with the eye of memory. his faults forgiven their virtues grown larger. So do goodness live and weakness fade from sight. I remember him with gratitude and bless his name. His memory is a blessing forever.
I love you John I miss you.
Happy Birthday John!!! / Jean (Mom)
Today is 3rd Birthday since you left to heaven. Barr and I visit your cemetary to pay respect and say Happy birthday. I brought 2dz yellow roses and birthday balloon I hope you like it.
I miss you so terrybly especially birthdays. I love you forever in my heart. I am sure having party in heaven with angels.
I am so sad / Jean (Mom)
Today Barr pick up your momento from Megan. She is leaving Calif. to go to Washington to with her Mom.
I feel so sad looking at your things you gathered. it would been diffrent you haven't used drugs, I wish you're here with me.
I miss you no matter what you have done I still love you forever.
Why did he have to go / Jean (Mom)
Loved ones he left behind just trying to survive and understand the why feeling so lost inside, anger shot straight at God, then asking for his love, empty with disbelief just hoping that maybe.
He flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels, by the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees, and he walks with Jesus and his loved ones waiting and I knew he is smiling saying, Don't worry about me.
33 Momths already passed / Jean (Mom)
World still moving the time moved away, 33 months today you are passing to heaven. No more pain and suffering. only the peace remain, Praying that you are in paradise with Jesus.
John I love you forever in my heart.
We will be together again / Jean (Mom)
A star shining rightly in the Heavens
Represents the love of someone they can't see
The butterfly dancing in their garden
is a symbol of a spirit flying free.
But when a gentle breeze caresses your hair
Or you see an eagle soar in the air
Should you smile and remember me in prayer
Oh, I will be there.
There's no need to say good-bye
One day well be together Remeber me and smile
I'm in your heart forever
I'll feel the love you send
Until were together again.
Close your eyes
You'll find me sailing in the sunset
Riding waves of blues ocean ever seen
I'm holding hands
Of all the other shere before me
With my head upheld to hear the angels sing.
I can fdo all the things I've always dreamed of
I'll be watching over you from above
Don't be worried about me because
I brough along all your love.
It doesn't matter where you are
My love will shine upon you from the star
I'm like the butterfly flying free
Ascending through the sky peacefully.
I wish I wish / Jean (Mom)
I wish I wish upon a star, that I could see just where you are, to watch you smile and laugh again, for that might help to ease this pain.
I wish I wish that this would end, somehow my broken heart would mend, each day each night continues on, this game of life I'm bit a pawn.
I wish I wish this were untrue, that I would wake and be with you, to hug you close to me once more, to have you race right thought the door.
I wish I wish for no more tears for I have cried for all these years, I'm tired and so full of griief, I just would like a bit of peace.
I wish I wish for better days, I have begged and I have prayed, this is not how life sould be, I need you so, and you need me.
I wish I wish upon a star, to travel up to where you are, to never have to say good bye, forever to be by your side.
Brandon's Highschool Graduation / Jean (Mom) I am so proud of Brandon's highschool graduation. He is graduating one year eary than usual. I am sure you too proud of your son's achievement, he is so bright and smart handsom just like you. Michelle told me with cap and gown he looks like you as handsome as you.
Now Childless / Jean (Mom)
Suddenly you are childless. There is a new and total silence in your life. Your world feels abruptly empty, you imagine you are alone. These feelings may last for many months, even years, as you move through early bereavement. These thoughts an feelings are normal. When a child dies, the lack fo surviving children is an additional hearbreaking issue that initiallly deepens your pain as you seek a way to share your love,
Althoug these early months and years may seem endless, you can slowly move toward a positive resolution of your grief. Although you may remain childless, you can seek and embrace healing. Your life will not be what you had planned before the death of your child , but living can still hold beauty, joy, peace and meaning.
Are You Still a Parent? / Jean (Mom) Because you do not have surviving children, you may find your parental identity suddenly questioned because you no longer have living child to parent. Utimately, howerer, you will realize that once you have been a parent, you are foever a parent. The memories of your child and the love you shared with them live on and are always a part of you. During early bereavement, memories can be extremely painful. Over the years, your memories, while bittersweet at times, will become sources of comfort and even joy.
29 Months Today / Jean (Mom)
Tears that fall upon my face love for you won;t be erased, time moves on without you now, I ask the question simply how?
Today 29 moths since you left to heaven. Day in day out I wear this mask life has changed into a task, I ask the question simply why? life has no answer so I cry.
Someday I hope that I will find....some happiness, some peace of mind, for losing you, I still ask why? Life has no answer...so I cry.
Memory Lane / Jean (Mom)
There is a place in every heart,
They call it Memory Lane,
Where thoughts of loved ones lost,
Forever will remain.
God made this special place,
When he first created man,
For he knew it would be needed,
As part of our life's plan.
He knew when loved ones left us,
We'd need some time to heal,
To come to terms with sorrow,
And the loneliness we'd feel.
So when you lose a loved one,
And your life is filled with pain,
The comfort of their presence,
Will be found in Memory Lane.
Author Marion Jones
Revelation 21:4- / Jean (Mom)
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain."
Myth of closure / Jean (Mom)
Closure simply does not exist emotionally, not in a pure sense. We cannot close the door on the past as if it didn't exist because, after losing someone dear to us, we never forget that person or the love we shared. And in some ways, we never entirely get over the loss. We learn to love with the lose, to integrate it into our new idently.
Where I am Today 2 1/2 Years Later / Jean (Mom)
The hurt never goes away. Eventually, I start learning to live with it and accept the fact that it will be there the rest of your life. But it still hurts.
I still often feel as though my own breath get pulled from my lungs. I still cry for him, for me, like aknige has pierced my very soul.
John brought so much joy, love and laughter into my life. I will forever be glad that he was here for 40 years. I want his love and desire to help people to live on in me and help me to always be evolving into a better person.
28 Months today / Jean (Mom)
28 Months today since you are departed to heaven. Barr and I visit cemetary to flower for your grave. I felt sadness in my heart your beautiful picture on the grave oh how I miss you.
I pray that you don't have any more pain and Jesus will give you comfort.
I love you forever in my heart.
You Will / Jean (Mom)
You will live.
Although you feel like you are dying.
You will laugh once again.
Although you feel that emotion is lost forever.
You will think clearly again.
Although you feel very confused most of the time.
You will celebrate your child"s life.
Although now you are enveloped in the whys and if onlys of your child's death.
You will somehow work your way though this rough work called grieving.
Although today you feel you are slipping backwards.
You will find love, understanding, and caring with others, although today you are lonely, isolated, and withdrawn.
Choose the You Will.
I did, and it is helpping with that large hole in my heart.